You’re so selfish
Why can’t you see this
You’re so selfish
Why can’t you be selfless
Like you pretend you are
Every move has strings attached
Now they’re withered and dry from friction (fiction)
And your desperate pleas to come back
Will still only feed your addiction, because
You’re so selfish
Why can’t you see this
You’re so selfish
Why can’t you be selfless
Like you pretend you are
Now, outside can I see
What you’ve always seemed to be
I’ve stepped out of your maze
But you’ll never be free, because
You’re so selfish
Why can’t you see this
You’re so selfish
Why can’t you be selfless
Like you pretend you are
Like you pretend you are
EDIT 2020/02/27: I always imagined the bridge (@ 1:51) of the eventual studio recorded version of this song would contain various clips from newscasters describing war scenes, current situations and general wartime fearmongering in a fictional war between the U.S. (the aggressor) and a random foreign country. As the bridge builds, the audio clips get more intense, accompanied by clips of in-battle war skirmish sounds – gunfire, explosions, aircraft, screaming of orders, screaming of fatally wounded soldiers – all of this then accompanied by rash clips of world leaders decrying manifestos, rants, charges at others – all mixed up in a blender and randomized/cut together into a fat blob of distortion and electricity and chaos – until the segway into the last chorus (@ 3:05). Fuck I’d love to do that still. Maybe I’m biased but this song rocks my fucking balls off. I miss playing it, I miss the energy I got from playing it. Travis, you’re a mastermind and this song is proof. Justin, who the fuck else could nail this song like you did on drums. Perfection.
___
Please excuse the rough recording, it was at a random practice at Amanda’s house. Ended up being one of the only recordings left after I deleted most of our stuff when the band fell apart. I wish I didn’t do that.
“The Terrorists” was a rock/punk/alternative band I was a part of in 2009-2010. The name was a play on the role the United States was playing on the world stage at the time. This one was one of my favorites.
“Headphones make their own rules of etiquette. We assume that people wearing them are busy or oblivious, so now people wear them to appear busy or oblivious — even without music. Wearing soundless headphones is now a common solution to productivity blocks. Baldwin’s invention for the Navy has become a social accessory with a explicit message: I am here, but I am separate. In a wreck of people and activity, two plastic pieces connected by a wire create an aura of privacy.“
This article is a very interesting history of Rock ‘n Roll music and the subject of race in its upbringing and subsequent widespread popularity.
I’m not old enough to have experienced what it describes but the Internet is filling in a lot of gaps for me. It’s very interesting how *who* played Rock ‘n Roll music had so much to do with the music itself, and how the conflict of some peoples’ moral standings drove them to try and bury those who enjoyed it. This line kind of sums it up for me:
“This is not to suggest that the Rolling Stones were rendered as black, but rather that they were rendered something other than properly white.”
I’ve contemplated, many times, *why* exactly people are so afraid of those who look different than themselves. Skin color, body weight, sex, sexual orientation, style, …I came to the temporary conclusion this morning that the visual senses do more bad than good in a lot of cases. I kind of wish nobody had eyes sometimes.
EDIT: Visual appearances are one thing, but culture is likely, IMO, a very strong reason why people are the way they are when it comes to deciding whether to fear something or to accept/love something. Visual cues are a piece of the puzzle. This is an interesting thing to contemplate for me. Something to step back from and analyze from different levels of consciousness.. Likely more edits later.
EDIT 2: Ah, as I finish the article I learn new words…xenophobia!
“Because ‘the cloud‘ is just someone else’s computer, and you never know where your data will end up or when they will alter or terminate their services.“
I don’t know if I could ever play 2 player with anyone besides my old friends Travis or Johnathan. – I take my Super C strategies seriously. There has to be a strong link and sense of collective survival, otherwise I just would rather go it alone. No offense, it’s just easier that way.
“It had to do with piecing together new thoughts in your mind.
Why is it that people think it’s so evil?
What is it about it, that scares people so deeply? Because they’re afraid that there is more to reality than they have confronted. That there are doors that they’re afraid to go in, and they don’t want us to go in there either, because if we go in we might learn something that they don’t know.
I picked up my bass for the first time in a little while. I ignored everything around me and just played for a few minutes.
I was able to get lost in the melodies/loops I was playing fairly quickly this time. I realized that for having been away from playing for a while the purpose of it. My mind completely disconnected from the physical reality around me. I felt a release; a letting-go of what normally spins circles in my consciousness. I had descended from that frequency into a lower one, “looking” around and realizing where I now stood.
I dusted off the walls, I admired the soft glow of light around me, I felt the swirling of sound that enveloped my soul become more pronounced with each note I played. I wonder how I had ever wandered so far from here. I was so comfortable… it was all so familiar but it seemed like forever since I’d been here.
Our brains literally operate on distinct frequencies. It is up to us to “tune” them to the desired “station”. Playing my bass this afternoon for those few solitary minutes helped me remember that. This information is so key to our happiness, our well being. A tool to practice using, for sure.
Me on bass with The Terrorists circa 2008 (Justin Sweet on Drums, Travis Brunetti on vox+guitar). You know at first I thought the main riff for this was cheesy, but it grew on me after we practiced it. Still one of my favorites that we played. I liked the live versions better, Travis normally used a more powerful voice than here (he likes his Elliot Smith voice though ;) )
Mudvayne are genius musicians. Hidden in the hardcore math-metal progressions and guttural screams is an intricately composed symphony with accompanying lyrics. Absolutely amazing work in my opinion.
Lyrics:
We’ve come here from so far away
I can save you if you leave it all behind
This suffering’s been far too long
Would you take a trip with me on the back of a star?
I feel like this gravity is just here to pull us down
(Mother of creation, wait)
Embrace the souls of a lost world
Carry them away
(Darkness, negative, receptive)
Pour firmament between our waters
Separate the space
(Mother of destruction, wait)
With a belt of skulls, strap me down
And send the ship away
(Progress with the process)
Mine the souls from their casts
Pour, form, and re-shape!
This dark womb wraps and covets me
Redefining understanding if you open up the heart
Nurturing this phenomenon…
We can carry you on our wings
Our wings, through the dark
Lightning flashes of insight
Into the mirth of a dark sky
Pain of division is nothing
Joy of dissolution is everything!
(Mother of creation, wait)
Embrace the souls of a lost world
Carry them away
(Darkness, negative, receptive)
Pour firmament between our waters
Separate the space
(Mother of destruction, wait)
With a belt of skulls, strap me down
And send the ship away
(Progress with the process)
Mine the souls from their casts
Pour, form, and re-shape!
Portal sits deep within the eye!
The eye of Yin’s severity rewards understanding
Portal sits deep within the eye!
The eye of Yin’s severity rewards understanding
Blackness consumes…
Body covets, core of nothing!
Blackness consumes…
Body covets, core of nothing!
Mother, I can remember a vault of security…
Would you take me away?
Would you take me away?
Won’t you take me away? Away!
(Mother of creation, wait)
Embrace the souls of a lost world
Carry them away
(Darkness, negative, receptive)
Pour firmament between our waters
Separate the space
(Mother of destruction, wait)
With a belt of skulls, strap me down
And send the ship away
(Progress with the process)
Mine the souls from their casts
Pour, form, and re-shape!
I’ve learned that people who attempt desperately to convince me of a quality about themselves is simply a (categorically futile) attempt to convince themselves. It’s like their own inner conflict of self identity – what their actual reality and position in life is vs. what they see themselves as ideally… the mask of ‘ideal’ is coming off. Maybe this creates a state of mind in which some may impulsively seek others to help them suffocate their own self doubt instead of doing the hard work to change.
If you feel you are one of these people: you don’t need to tell people how honest and loving and pure you are. They should already know through your past actions, right? To try and convince anyone otherwise is persuasion, and it’s silly.
Own your reality and understand that you’re not fooling anyone, especially yourself.
